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Some thoughts on "created to be his help meet."
by Emily (emily25069)
at June 2nd, 2005 (01:33 am)

Just some quotes from the book that really are challenging me. Debi Pearl sure speaks the truth. I wish I had a real-life woman at my church to teach me these things.

Here are the quotes.

"When you develop an adversarial relationship with your husband, you do so on the premise that you are right and he is wrong. You are also assuming that you have the duty to resist, confront, and challenge him. In thinking that he is wrong and you are right, you declare yourself wiser than he, more spiritual, more discerning, more sacrificial, etc. All of this adds up to the obvious conclusion that you have assumed the role of leadership, teacher, and judge."

"Adam commenced his rule of the planet before God created Eve to help him in his life's goals. Adam didnt need to get Eve's consent. God gave her to Adam to be HIS helper, not his partner. She was designed to serve, not to be servied, to assist, not to veto his decision."

(This is part of a description to "Mr. Steady". I am married to a Mr. Steady, as described in the book. There is a Mr. Command, a Mr. Visionary, and a Mr. Steady)

He will enjoy the company of others and be most comfortable spending time in small talk with whoever is around. Of the three types, he is the one who will be most liked by everyone.

Mr. Steady is always in demand. People everywhere need him to fix a car, build a house, set up their computer, figure out whats wrong with their phone, heal them of cancer, and the list goes on and on. You begin to wonder if you will ever have him all to yourself. The answer is, no. He belongs to people. When it is time or past time for some special time alone, take a vacation and leave the cell phone at home.

ouch ouch ouch Debi!!!!

I am so guilty of trying to be Barry's conscience all the time. I am always trying to get him to see what he is doing wrong instead of just adapting to him and praying for him. This book has been so far an amazing eye-opener for me. I am trying to make changes and things are a lot smoother.. for instance...

When Barry takes a shower, his clothes go on the bathroom floor, and usually stay there until I nag at him that he has been disrespectful of me and ask him to pick them up himself. The past couple of days however, I have taken Debi Pearl's advice and just accepted the fact that this will be a job of mine, and I have been trying to do it cheerfully. Its been 4 years of nagging. Nagging more isnt going to do anything more than cause unnecessary strife between us. It feels really good to have let that go.

This book is really really good. Its very blunt.. Just what I like!

The last thing, (the description of Mr. Steady) actually really makes me feel relieved. Barry is always gone. I do sometimes wonder if things will ever settle down and he will be mine all mine all the time!!! Its honestly sort of refreshing to know that those chances are pretty slim. It will make it easier to adapt to I think. .. and truthfully, while sometimes it gets lonely around these parts, Im not miserable. I just need to be a little bit more creative and lean on the help of my girlfriends a little bit more than the average wife whose husband is mostly a homebody.


Posted by: wifeofJoshua (wifeofjoshua)
Posted at: June 2nd, 2005 12:45 pm (UTC)

I enjoyed reading your thoughts! There are so many good parts in this book :D I, too, like Debi's blunt way of writing :).

Posted by: Mrs. Darling (nicoledanielle)
Posted at: June 2nd, 2005 02:58 pm (UTC)

I just copied down a part of the book today were Debi said that Eve was not created to be Adam's conscience--he had one before she was created. Ouch. She's really critical of women who try to be the Holy Spirit for their men. How much better to pray for the man to the One who can really change him?! ;)

I like your example and story of the clothes on the floor. You gave me an idea and I think I will make a new post for the fun of it! ;)

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